Doubt as a driving force

I'm struggling at the moment. 

I want to make work that excites me and the viewer, makes us smile and feel free in what can be a very demanding and pressurised world. I want to play, to get the feelings of adventure and possibilities that I felt as a child, and be liberated. All this sounds very open and positive, yet I am stuck in a moment of feeling closed, lost. 

I am taking this opportunity to step back, reflect and make steps which will set up the conditions in which I can play, and allow me to change. It is scary, but I want to think about it more as excitement. Exciting with regards to what will come next, where it will take me. I am going to channel my insecurity and doubt into using it as a driving force.

Merleau-Ponty wrote an excellent essay about Cezanne's Doubt 

Read it here http://www.powersofobservation.com/2011/01/cezannes-doubt.html